Fear Based Parenting

Emotions are poor decision makers. We must not parent out of emotion, especially fear. Fear tends to either propell us to paralysis or makes us control freaks (or paradoxically make us both). Yes, it’s a scary day to be raising a teen. Yes, our teens are likely to make a LOT of mistakes. Yes, my kid’s life is not going to go the way I wish it would. You would do well to make peace with these realities early on so that when it starts happening you have already had your freakout moment. They need us to be solid for them when they cannot be solid, when they are trying to learn to be solid. The more we get drawn into their chaos the slower they will learn to be solid. Afterall, who are they supposed to pattern themselves after? Are you a slave to fear when it comes to your teen? Try to accomplish the following

  • Differentiate yourself from your teen – his life is his, his choices are his, his consequences are his. He does not define you. Un-intertwine your heart. Enmeshment is not healthy. Make sure you have a life outside of your parenting
  • Get support
  • Fix your prayer life. If you pray for your teen in a fear-based way, you are not praying in faith. Pray in confidence, bold, and speak the Word with authority.

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